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(AUCTIONS.) J.P. Johnston. The Auctioneer's Guide, and How to Become an Auctioneer.

(AUCTIONS.) J.P. Johnston. The Auctioneer's Guide, and How to Become an Auctioneer. Frontispiece plate. 151, [1] pages. 12mo, pictorial cloth, minor wear; front hinge split. Chicago: Hallett Publishing, 1888

  • Notes: First edition. Much of the volume consists of suggested auction jokes and banter. We repeat a few snippets here for the future reference of Swann's crack team of auctioneers.

    "Sold Again--any man that would refuse to buy goods at these prices ought to be compelled to eat mush and milk out of a jug with a pegging awl" (page 27).

    "My friends--Any man who would refuse to buy goods at these prices, ought to be jammed into a cannon loaded with a half bushel of sour krout, primed with a peck of Dutch cheese and fired through the Rocky Mountains" (page 33).

    "One fool at a time, please, I am talking now" (page 39).

    "Gentlemen, pay no attention to that man; he was born in pan-cake time; they gave him batter instead of brains."

    Only 4 of any edition in OCLC, and none traced at auction since 1901.

    With--5 other auction-related items, none of them quite as amusing as the Auctioneer's Guide:


    Samuel Livermore. "A Treatise on the Law Relative to Principals, Agents, Factors, Auctioneers, and Brokers." xii, 260 pages. 8vo, original boards, front board detached; unopened. Boston, 1811.

    "Memorial of Sundry Merchants . . . Praying for . . . High Duties on Sales at Auctions." 5 pages, disbound. Washington, 1820.

    "An Exposition of Some of the Evils Arising from the Auction System." 16 pages; disbound, lacking wrappers. [New York: Van Pelt and Spear, 1821].

    "Substance of Mr. Haines' Remarks, Made at the City Hotel in the City of New-York, on the Ruinous Consequences of the Auction System." 16 pages, disbound. New York, 1823.

    Bond issued to New York auctioneer John M. Willard. Partly-printed Document Signed by Willard, Mayor Stephen Allen, and others; 13 x 7½ inches. New York, 19 May 1823.

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