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TWAIN, MARK. Autograph Letter Signed, "Sam'l L. Clemens," to journalist Hiram J. Ramsdell ("Dear Ramsdell"),

TWAIN, MARK. Autograph Letter Signed, "Sam''l L. Clemens," to journalist Hiram J. Ramsdell ("Dear Ramsdell"), elaborately declining to deliver a lecture [to the Washington Correspondents'' Club?]. 2 pages, 4to, "Boston Lyceum Bureau" stationery, ruled paper, written on the recto and verso of a single sheet; short closed separation at horizontal fold. (MRS) Boston, 23 November 1869

  • Notes: ". . . Confound it, I would a heap rather have lectured for the boys, of course--have always been laying for a chance to do it . . . . I am to talk in Washington for the G[rand] A[rmy of the] R[epublic], the only solitary night I have got left in the whole winter . . . .--therefore, you old rip, how can your servant lecture for the boys?
    "But you better not write me down, you freebooters, & you better not tear down my bills, either, unless you want to stand a small trial for incest, or arson, or whatever the technical term for such a crime may be. Go slow!
    "No, my boy, write me up--that is the way to achieve the affection & reverence of your country. Protect my bills (pay them, for instance) & uphold mine honor & my reputation. That is the way to bring down your gray hairs with satisfaction to the grave. . . ."
    Published in Mark Twain''s Letters, Volume 3: 1869, ed. Fischer, Frank. Berkley, 1992.

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